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14 Best Sex Toys for Couples in Long-Distance Relationships, According to Experts

Feel connected to your partner, even when you can’t physically be together.

sex toys for long distance couples

Whether it’s for a short amount of time or the long haul, being in a long-distance relationship can be tough. You both have physical and emotional needs, and those don’t change just because you’re not in the same place.

So, it’s time to get a little creative. With the right sex toy, you can feel connected to your partner, even when you can’t physically be together. “When couples are long-distance and looking for a sex toy, I always recommend they get and stay comfortable with the idea of remote sex,” says sex therapist Debra Laino, an AASECT-certified sex educator. It’s all about communication, she says, “as well as finding new ways to be playful.”

The toy itself is important, but how you use it is key, says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a New York City-based sex therapist and author of She Comes First. “The toys provide the friction, pressure, vibration, and penetration,” he says, “and your mind provides the erotic heat.”

How to choose the best long distance sex toy

Figure out what you want: Chat with your partner and suss out what you’re trying to achieve with a toy. Are you going for an orgasm? Do you want to increase intimacy? Figuring that out first can help dictate which direction you go in, Laino says.

Consider a toy with an app: Having a toy that’s app-integrated can be a huge perk, according to sex expert Jessica O’Reilly, host of the @SexWithDrJess Podcast. “You can pair them with your phone and give your partner access to control them from anywhere in the world,” she says.

Or keep it classic: Toys can be used over video chat or even just over the phone. “There’s power, intimacy, and connection in just getting on your phone and going old-school with some phone sex,” Kerner says. “Share a fantasy, role play—sometimes it’s easier to do without the visual element and leaves more to the imagination.”

This is where pushing your comfort zone comes into play. “Describe to your lover what you’re doing, how you’re feeling, and what you want from them,” O’Reilly says. “Just do what feels right.”

Think of your preferences: If you tend to get pleasure from clitoral stimulation, it’s probably best to go with a toy that does just that, Kerner says. “For women, you might want to just have a good reliable vibrator,” he says. “For men, you might want to have a penis sleeve or prostate massager on hand.”

Of course, there are so many options to wade through, so we consulted our experts for their top sex toy picks for long-distance couples. Check out the list below to keep that spark alive, even when you’re apart.

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1 Melt App-Controlled Clitoral Sucking Vibrator

The We-Vibe Melt uses “tiny changes in air pressure around the head of the clitoris to create a sensation that is a cross between licking, kissing, and sucking,” O’Reilly says. It can also be controlled by an app that your partner can use. (You can use it for solo play, too.)

Just test it out in advance. “Nothing is more frustrating than having to fuss with your sex toy technology when you’re trying to play,” says Celeste Holbrook, Ph.D., a sex educator for The Velvet Box.

2 Lush 2 Bullet Vibrator

This hands-free vibe can be used anywhere. It offers seven different vibration modes that can be controlled with the Lovense app, which has Bluetooth connectivity and a 360-degree range. Laino says she likes app-controlled toys like this because “couples can be playful with them.” You can use this in bed or, if you’re feeling more adventurous, while on the go.

3 Touch Clitoral Vibrator
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The We-Vibe Touch is a sculpted clitoral vibrator that’s whisper-quiet. Don’t let the lack of sound fool you, though: This little toy is powerful. O’Reilly calls it “long-time favorite,” noting that it’s “shaped like a wide, smooth tongue with a rounded tip for direct stimulation of the clitoral head.” Use this for mutual masturbation with your partner to make sure you hit all the right buttons.

4 Nova 2 Rabbit Vibrator

O’Reilly recommends this for people who want the benefits of a rabbit vibrator, only “much, much better.” The Nova 2 provides constant stimulation of the clitoris, allowing for a blended orgasm. “You use [it] in a rocking motion to stimulate the upper wall of the vagina, as well as the external components of the clitoris,” O’Reilly says. “The new version is adjustable, so you can find the perfect fit.” It can also be controlled by an app, so your partner can take the lead.

5 Nora Rabbit Vibrator

The Nora has a rotating head and vibrating arm to rub your clitoris in all the right ways. Your partner can control the speed and power through the app to find a rhythm that works for you. Laino gives this one a thumbs up. “Lovense products are great,” she says.

6 Max 2 Male Vibrator

Consider the Lovense Max 2 the male equivalent of the Nora. The sleeve is an extendable vibrator with 360-degree contractions that deliver multiple sensations. Overall, the product is “sturdy, well-made, and works well with a good deal of power,” Laino says.

7 Ella Bullet Vibrator With App

This multi-speed bullet vibe is covered in super soft silicone for a sexy feel. It’s rechargeable and waterproof, just in case you want to take things in the shower. The vibe is controlled by an app, so your partner can flip through different intensities while you enjoy the ride.

8 Chorus Couples Vibrator

The We-Vibe Chorus is a dual motor vibrator for couples that has a squeeze-sensitive remote and touch-sense control app—so either you or your S.O. can run the show at any given moment. The toy is fully adjustable, so you can find the fit that works for you. It’s not ~just~ a long-distance toy. “When the couple is finally reunited, they can still use the Chorus together,” Holbrook says.

9 Rave G-Spot Stimulator

The Rave offers up a unique asymmetrical shape that’s designed to target your G-spot. A nice perk: You can also use it on your clitoris, too. The We-Connect app allows your partner to control it from anywhere and the toy’s whisper-quiet sound ensures you can do what you want without attracting any outside attention.

10 Desire Luxury App Controlled Rechargeable Vibrator

This rechargeable panty app can be controlled by remote, so your partner can work you over while you kick back and relax. You can even both get one and swap apps. “Partners can both have a bullet in their underwear and play a game where they will surprise the other one,” Laino says.

11 Pivot Vibrating Penis Ring

The Pivot is an app-controlled vibrating penis ring that features 11 powerful vibrations. While it’s technically for men, the vibrations can also be used for women when you’re finally together. The Pivot is “perfect for partnered, solo, and long-distance play,” O’Reilly says.

12 Cliona Clit Stim Vibrator
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The Cliona is a small (pocket-sized) clitoral massager that gives you powerful vibrations whenever you need them. It’s Bluetooth-enabled, so your partner can control the action from a distance. Touch-sensitive buttons make cycling through the patterns and intensities easy.

13 Onyx+ Interactive Male Masturbator

The Onyx+ is the male partner toy to the Cliona. It uses tech to sync the two, so you can work together to get to an orgasm. With toys like this, “you can literally feel your partner’s movements,” Kerner says.

14 Vibease Bluetooth Vibrator

The Vibease panty vibrator is a light-weight, hands-free toy that’s controlled by app for easy maneuvering. You can use it for solo or for couple play and—this is an amazing feature—you can even sync it to erotic audiobooks.

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